Misadventures in Adcopy #2

From the top of Carl Buddig - Orginal Deli Thin - Corned Beef:

SLICED
CHOPPED
PRESSED
COOKED

I believe certain Buddig products also include SMOKED. With this many verbs, you know it's got to be good. Part of me wants to see the setting in which all these actions are taken. The other part wants to start buying another lunch meat product as soon as possible.

But the 8 ounce Buddig deli thin meats are cheaper than any other, with the exception of Hy-Vee brand (and only when they're running a special). Plus Buddig puts those 8 ounces in a handy reusable plastic tub. And I have to admit, I really like their Corned Beef, which is surprisingly low in fat.

In order to stop thinking of the no doubt heinous and soulless facility that does all these things to the meat I like to come up with other verbs Buddig could have used instead. For instance:

CARESSED
MASSAGED
STROKED
LOVED


See, now we're thinking about something entirely different. Though I suppose in context it's not, in fact, better. What verbs would make you more likely to buy Buddig products?